Lost in our Minds

Figured it'd be good to post an update...We finalized all our initial paperwork with a local private organization but have since had a slight change of thought/heart. Thinking now about going through social services, which would cost very little compared to the thousands it will cost to go through a more private agency.

We also have been praying lots about whether this is God's plan for us. Is adoption something God really wants for us or just something we want. Logically it makes sense to have a family, to love on needy children, etc. but when it comes down to it, has God set us apart of something else? We don't know exactly. So that has been our continued prayer for the past couple months. "God we love the idea of children and think we'd be good parents but is that really what you want for us? Would you rather have us serve on the other side of the world in a place that would be hard for kids? Lord, give us wisdom"

We've been on this kid-seeking journey now for about 5 years (having been married for 10 in May). And it has not been smooth or easy which makes wonder. So far I don't think we've really gotten clarity on our big question but it has become more and more clear that the need for adoptive parents through the local social services or foster to adopt system is great.

I still wonder in the end of all this, what our family will look like. And still, even through the ups and downs we trust His soverignity and keep moving forward.

New Year Renewed Hope

It is now way beyond New Year wishes--as it is February. However, we are still dreaming of new year's plans and setting 2012 goals.

We finished off 2011 by submitting most of our adoption paperwork (still working on that crazy photo book!--and we are creatives who love taking photos--it's ridiculous I know).

Our full batch of paperwork included a ridiculous amount of essays questions on why we think we'd be good parents, and what we think are the biggest problems of children today and in the future, a full listing of our debts (yikes), medical history, bank verification, and employer references, to name a few.

It was great to officially deliver the majority paperwork to actually the wrong office in Roanoke, but it got sent on to the right one anyway. During our brief "review of the paperwork meeting"

I mentioned that getting the paperwork finished was a task, to which the case worker responded, "that is the easy part". I then asked, "what's the difficult part?" She responded? "The waiting." I didn't really respond but wanted to say, "but we've already been waiting, what's new?"

After the "big delivery" I checked back a couple weeks later to find out that we needed to mail off more forms and money, including a $100 money order to help process our finger prints (you know to make sure we are not criminals). We are now waiting on the results to come back. (Should be okay I think) Our next step will include scheduling an official first interview with the caseworker and scheduling our home study.

As aways, the adoption process is an interesting one. We have found encouragement in so many ways. It has been humbling as friends have offered their financial and prayer support when we least expected it and needed it most. There are days when their hope keeps me hoping. Of course, there are also times when I wonder if other people want us to have a baby more than we do. (Okay that sounds weird I know but I don't know how else to say it.) Yes, we want kids to raise, nurture, and love as part of our family but God has also blessed us with an incredible marriage and we love that too.

So as the new year kicks off (yes it is still kicking off) we are excited and anxious to see what 2012 will bring. In the process, I know my faith in God and many others around me will find new meaning.