Friday, April 17, 2015

I could be ...

Someone said to me this week with full excitement, "so that means you could be pregnant right now!!"

I don't know why this statement caught me off guard but it did. Yet she was totally right, I could be!

The thought rolled through my mind all week!

I could be pregnant....
As I drive down this road
As I sit at work
As I drink this decaf coffee (that is not as good as regular)
As I try to stop reading blog posts about IVF or "how to know if" sites
And...
As I sit here writing this post.

It is an interesring mix of emotions living in the moment of could be! And it's hard to stay here, being positive. So quickly it shifts to "what if I am not."
Tomorrow (we hope) to learn the results of our day 10 blood test. Of course, we hope it is positive.

For one more day, I will continue to live in this moment of hope, and in the excitment of "could be."




Friday, April 10, 2015

Two . . .

Trying to remain hopeful, although we learned yesterday that our other four embryos we had at the doctor didn't grow until day six, meaning these couldn't be frozen for later use. (They need to be ready at day 5 for freezing). This was quite disappointing as of course the most expensive cost for IVF is the egg retrieval. 

Still wanting to remain hopeful that we got the best two –  the two that are inside me - It is tough. Of course, their embryo pics looked good! Ha! Anyway, hopefully at least one of these will take. If two, that's a bonus. 

We are both trying not to go into super-skeptical land and worry about what's next. We are bummed that we don't have future eggs to work. In the midst of this, we hold on to hope that the ones we have work, but it is definitely a disappointing development in the whole process - increasing the pressure of wanting these to take. And not helping my paranoia!

I think I need to go shopping to relax! Today is day three of my rest time, I can increase my moment but still need to stay relax - online shopping? I often wonder, "how do I stay relaxed with all these stressful thoughts"... tricky!!

Just sharing some honest thought this morning as it's been rolling around in my mind for the past 24 hours. 

If you are reading this, thanks for your prayers! Pray for our two! And for our hopeful hearts. 

Wednesday, April 8, 2015

IVF Here We Are

I wanted to wrap all that has happened for the past week into one post. If you are wondering why we have two blogs connected to this, it is because our Josh-n-Jenn site blog is a little more broad. Yes I do talk about issues and what is happening with our IVF process but I figure people looking at this one might 1)be women and 2) be people wanting to know the details about our who Fertility Journey and currently our IVF process. So this blog post is a lot more detailed. 

IVF Begins
We went to the doctor on April 2 for our egg retrial. It was quite the experience. My second experience with going under anesthesia - always an experience. In my druggie stupor we learned that 12 eggs were retrieved - a good number for my add. I was so relieved, worried there would be none. The procedure is a bit more involved and basically it means inflating the ovaries, then pull out fluid and retrieving eggs. :)

For me recovery from this procedure was more challenging that I thought it would be. It actually hurt more than the polpyectomy I had in January. Every thing was inflated and it hurt to move all of Thursday and most of Friday. By Saturday, I was moving better but slow. 
Very weird all around. 

We learned in the 24 hours after the retrieval that 11 of the 12 eggs retrieved were mature and of the 11, six eggs were fertilized (a 55% rate - which is a little low they like to see 60-65% but it was good). For Josh and I were overjoyed to know that the sperm worked!  
Of course, we still were living in a bit of doubt that Josh didn't have anything! We have only had two test so far, one that said "there is nothing" and another that said "there is something but it is a bit slow and light on count". 

Anyway! For the rest of the weekend. We celebrated that fact that we have embryos!!

IVF Part 2
In preparation for the embryo transfer, Josh has to give me progesterone shots every morning  - fun times (not really!) This of course is making my body really think about pregnancy and the related side effects of that! 

On April 7 (hopefully lucky #7) we went in for the embryo transfer. This time no aanesthesia just a little valium to make me relax. We got to see the doctor place two embryos into my uterus. Placing two was recommended and just gives a better chance all along. The goal is one successful pregnancy with two we have a 25% chance of having twins - which could be fun. But our hope it that at least one of the embryos attaches to the uterine wall and we go from there. 

Waiting
Now we enter the wait, relax and hope for pregnancy stage. We will find out in about a week if it all worked. I am trying to not overthink the what ifs at the moment but it is impossible.