Okay so a lot has happened since my first blog attempt.

I went through with the whole IUI procedure and it was weird I admit...from having a sonogram on a day when you don't really want anyone seeing what's going on inside you to having the IUI procedure with my husband standing in the room, and the doctor saying okay here we go.... Weird.

Then the waiting period...two weeks of wondering...is this going to work? Am I pregnant? Can I still drink my Starbucks Mocha? And of course lots of people telling you what helps you get pregnant and what does not. Vitamins, Orange Juice, No Caffeine, Rest, No stress--yeah right to the last one!!

In the midst of this my husband and I celebrated his graduation from seminary. It was a great day!! The Monday after the graduation celebrations we were schedule to find out, if IUI #1 worked...

The result..."your test was negative, call us when you start your next period."

Disappointment! Blahh... I then had to call my husband and tell him the disappointing news. Then I had to e-mail or text various friends to let them all know (since it seemed that many more people knew about my cycle than I every imagined knowing).

Since then, we start the process again. In 12 days from today we'll have another sonogram to see if everything is "ready". Then if so, IUI #2. I am hopeful but have to admit already feeling deflated with the thoughts of what if this doesn't work? What will we do next? How are we going to pay for all this.

My questions for God continue to grow as once again I am wondering what I'm suppose to be learning from all of this? Is this to help me better minister to other women? Is this just for me to trust more? The screaming question inside me is, "What's the deal God?"

But still I trust Him.