Friday, April 17, 2015

I could be ...

Someone said to me this week with full excitement, "so that means you could be pregnant right now!!"

I don't know why this statement caught me off guard but it did. Yet she was totally right, I could be!

The thought rolled through my mind all week!

I could be pregnant....
As I drive down this road
As I sit at work
As I drink this decaf coffee (that is not as good as regular)
As I try to stop reading blog posts about IVF or "how to know if" sites
As I sit here writing this post.

It is an interesring mix of emotions living in the moment of could be! And it's hard to stay here, being positive. So quickly it shifts to "what if I am not."
Tomorrow (we hope) to learn the results of our day 10 blood test. Of course, we hope it is positive.

For one more day, I will continue to live in this moment of hope, and in the excitment of "could be."

Friday, April 10, 2015

Two . . .

Trying to remain hopeful, although we learned yesterday that our other four embryos we had at the doctor didn't grow until day six, meaning these couldn't be frozen for later use. (They need to be ready at day 5 for freezing). This was quite disappointing as of course the most expensive cost for IVF is the egg retrieval. 

Still wanting to remain hopeful that we got the best two –  the two that are inside me - It is tough. Of course, their embryo pics looked good! Ha! Anyway, hopefully at least one of these will take. If two, that's a bonus. 

We are both trying not to go into super-skeptical land and worry about what's next. We are bummed that we don't have future eggs to work. In the midst of this, we hold on to hope that the ones we have work, but it is definitely a disappointing development in the whole process - increasing the pressure of wanting these to take. And not helping my paranoia!

I think I need to go shopping to relax! Today is day three of my rest time, I can increase my moment but still need to stay relax - online shopping? I often wonder, "how do I stay relaxed with all these stressful thoughts"... tricky!!

Just sharing some honest thought this morning as it's been rolling around in my mind for the past 24 hours. 

If you are reading this, thanks for your prayers! Pray for our two! And for our hopeful hearts. 

Wednesday, April 8, 2015

IVF Here We Are

I wanted to wrap all that has happened for the past week into one post. If you are wondering why we have two blogs connected to this, it is because our Josh-n-Jenn site blog is a little more broad. Yes I do talk about issues and what is happening with our IVF process but I figure people looking at this one might 1)be women and 2) be people wanting to know the details about our who Fertility Journey and currently our IVF process. So this blog post is a lot more detailed. 

IVF Begins
We went to the doctor on April 2 for our egg retrial. It was quite the experience. My second experience with going under anesthesia - always an experience. In my druggie stupor we learned that 12 eggs were retrieved - a good number for my add. I was so relieved, worried there would be none. The procedure is a bit more involved and basically it means inflating the ovaries, then pull out fluid and retrieving eggs. :)

For me recovery from this procedure was more challenging that I thought it would be. It actually hurt more than the polpyectomy I had in January. Every thing was inflated and it hurt to move all of Thursday and most of Friday. By Saturday, I was moving better but slow. 
Very weird all around. 

We learned in the 24 hours after the retrieval that 11 of the 12 eggs retrieved were mature and of the 11, six eggs were fertilized (a 55% rate - which is a little low they like to see 60-65% but it was good). For Josh and I were overjoyed to know that the sperm worked!  
Of course, we still were living in a bit of doubt that Josh didn't have anything! We have only had two test so far, one that said "there is nothing" and another that said "there is something but it is a bit slow and light on count". 

Anyway! For the rest of the weekend. We celebrated that fact that we have embryos!!

IVF Part 2
In preparation for the embryo transfer, Josh has to give me progesterone shots every morning  - fun times (not really!) This of course is making my body really think about pregnancy and the related side effects of that! 

On April 7 (hopefully lucky #7) we went in for the embryo transfer. This time no aanesthesia just a little valium to make me relax. We got to see the doctor place two embryos into my uterus. Placing two was recommended and just gives a better chance all along. The goal is one successful pregnancy with two we have a 25% chance of having twins - which could be fun. But our hope it that at least one of the embryos attaches to the uterine wall and we go from there. 

Now we enter the wait, relax and hope for pregnancy stage. We will find out in about a week if it all worked. I am trying to not overthink the what ifs at the moment but it is impossible. 

Wednesday, March 25, 2015

Picking Up Sticks

We continue our journey this week getting a little closer to our official first procedure. Still in the midst of details, we are now using that box of medications that I posted a picture of last time.  

It is kind of like a morning science project at our house, mixing up the needed and prescribed medication to encourage my insides to generate what's needed for the first procedure. (In case you're wondering - currently I am on lots of Bravelle and Menopur.)  Josh is my medicine tech as he feels this is another way he can be part of the process (as much of this journey is happening in and to me). I love that he is doing this!

This week has been a busy week of appointments as the doctor continues to check my hormone levels every other day. Depending on the results, they will let us know if we are on track to continue medication or increase it.  As of today, we are doing good but now need to increase my dosage. We hope the first IVF procedure will happen sometime next week.

Surprisingly, the medications haven't effected my emotions as much as I expected. The main effect has been super-monster headaches. It feels like my head is about to explode! I sit in meetings as work thinking, "ahh, my head!!" which is probably not helpful! Ha!

This week, the doc will continue to track process to let us know when my estrogen levels are ideal. When everything inside is also looking good, we'll schedule the egg retrieval procedure. 

Through this sticking process, I am gaining much more sympathy for people who have to take shots everyday as my stomach is quickly becoming filled with bruises and prick marks. Ugh and Ouch!

We continue to walk through each day remaining hopeful. Even in the weird times it is good to be moving forward. We are thankful to be here. We are thankful for science and just how amazing it is that people can even have babies! It is so detailed and precise I wonder how this happens naturally! Our God is truly and amazing creator! 

Thursday, March 12, 2015

Boxes, Papers and Medications

Last week, we received our huge expensive box filled with prescriptions. Necessary items that will help us prepare for the official IVF procedure. Each medicine has it's own job and the timing and "how to's" for each one is different.

I was in a bit of information overload on Monday as they explained each item in the box.

While I typically prefer to be a bit more vague, I suspect it helps people looking into IVF to know more details. I have one drug that I take as a shot every morning that helps keep me from ovulating at the wrong time, that way I can be on right time-table needed for both me and the doctor.

Additionally, Josh and I both have to take medications that help us both be healthier for the whole process. We have become pill popping buddies! A new experience for us! Haha! I am also on prenatal vitamins and birth control (I know that makes no sense but it helps with timing).

For the first part of this, the medications haven't made me feel crazy - I suspect the more emotional medications will begin next week as the real inside prep and hormone boosting drugs begin.

We will see.

Saturday, February 28, 2015

Preseason Prep for Our Journey

This week we officially switched the light to green, all systems go.

During the month of March 2015, we are beginning many medications and tests that will get us ready for the IVF process. We may not share the official days and times on this site as it is still a personal journey we are on - and sometimes having all the specifics posted can create more stress and expectation for both us and others.

As we walk through this, we are trying to relax, trust God and continue to fill up our hope tank!
We ask for your prayers and continued support as we move forward. Learn more about our whole journey on our other website (in case you found this blog and want to know more)

Just wanted to post officially on this blog - IT'S GO TIME!

Friday, January 23, 2015

What To Do About Polyps?

Feeling a little drowsy still after spending a few days recovering from a minor surgery to remove some polyps from my Uterus. Yep, not your typical surgery but one that is needed for me (and us) to keep moving forward with our decision to do IVF this year.

It still doesn't really seem like this is happening! Are we really doing this! Yikes!

This week, I had three polyps removed as these kinds of things can get in the way when doing the IVF procedure and the doctors don't want anything causing trouble with the implanting process. 
This is the first time, that I remember, having to go under for a surgery. Such a weird process to wake up knowing people had been doing stuff inside you. Very weird. 

Overall the surgery went well with no complications. So thankful for a God who protects and heals in the most intricate ways.

We continue to hope as we look forward and are glad to have one more thing marked off the list of "to dos".